“Belgium is a beautiful country, but it ought to be roofed.”
I submitted my best friend, Jilske, in a contest by photographer Zack Arias to win a photography themed gift box. The idea was to write about someone else and tell Zack why you feel they deserved to win this wonderful gift. Now, we did not win (there were 519 submissions in total and I just saw a Tweet saying all winners have been informed by now), but I want to share the story with you anyway. After all, it’s a lovely tribute to my BFF.
*****
Jilske*
The first time Jilske and I met, I nearly chewed off her head. She said something about my pants, which to me sounded like “your ass looks fat”, but really meant “your slacks look cute”.
That was back in 1998. We have been best friends ever since.
Although Jilske and I moved in different circles at university and came from completely different backgrounds, we found in each other what some might refer to as a soul mate. Never having been BFFs in the girlie sense of the word (though I keep hoping for that slumber party and make up talk), we shared more intimate feelings about love, sex, the arts and our creative, craving souls.
Without much formal training, and even less experience, we both acknowledged to each other – carefully – our passion for engrossing music, elegant words and beguiling images. We experimented with poetry, which in retrospect reads like much else ever written by a love-sick teenager. Jilske actually plays the piano beautifully, but back then I was the one who was into photography.
She didn’t buy her first SLR until three years ago right before her trip to Hawaii. Suffering through a missed flight connection, and both her suitcase and clothes ruined by someone else’s leaked gallons of soy sauce, she found peace in photography. She has since surpassed my photography skills by miles.
Always having been trigger happy, standing on those smoldering volcanoes she first realized how much she enjoyed not just taking a picture, but really constructing one; creating an image, really searching for it rather than just capturing it.
A few years ago, desperate to change jobs, she accepted an offer in Sydney. Her husband had assured her he would join her there within three months. Unforeseen changes at his office turned three months into one whole, lonely year. She took the opportunity to take her first photography classes, experimenting with many different cameras.
She continues to hurtle herself towards very private, yet very ambitious goals. Not easily satisfied with herself, she is always surprised when I share with her what a positive influence she is in my life.
Jilske has always been by my side, even now that she lives on the other side of the earth – quite literally. With 10,407 miles between us, and both of us now attached to husbands, she still remains the strongest force in my life that encourages me to embrace my creative side, whether it’s through writing sultry poetry or designing my personal website.
I got married this fall and Jilske flew from Sydney to Brussels (30 hours) just to attend my bachelorette party in August, only to throw me another one a few days before the wedding. As she continues to dream about a more creative life, I want to support her in that dream however I can.
What really gets me about her is her own quiet passion for these things. She never just calls me to gab about her day (though sometimes I wish she would), and she often speaks of life altering decisions in a detached manner, as if she’s not talking about herself at all. But when we discuss our creative aspirations, her whole face lights up.
She has learned a lot, thanks in part to the teachings of a few excellent photographers, among whom the Brussels-based Benjamin Brolet. But Jilske possesses a sense of humility completely unknown to me. She brags not about her own progression, but rather about how much she can learn from others. That’s also how she pointed me to this website.
What I love about her pictures, is how she manages to capture beauty in trivial things, how they reflect her unselfconscious sense of humor, but mostly how they convey a side of her she will not often show people, even me.
Jilske often just relays simple facts, yet beyond all that aperture and shutter speed talk, those who know her well can easily discern this second sound wave underneath. Another voice that doesn’t speak about camera angles, but about how getting this picture just right made her soul reverberate a little. The untrained ear would hear nothing but D40 and 35mm, but those who love her, can hear her whisper faintly: “This is what I look like on the inside. This beauty is what I want to become.”
* Jilske is pronounced Yilska for English speakers. We’re both Flemish (Dutch speaking) Belgians. More about Jilske on www.jilske.com.
It’s my blog’s anniversary again. On its second birthday, I read back what I wrote a year ago, feeling that while so much has happened this year, inside myself not much has changed.
I think 2008 was a better year overall. This year has taken my family through tremendous pain and stress. Work has seen the harsh realities of what happens when global financial markets fail. And I am still waiting for that promotion, guiltily now as so many of my colleagues are no longer there at all.
But this has also been the year of weddings and babies and (despite the lack of promotion) obtaining much more rewarding projects at work, proving in almost a cliche way that life indeed goes on no matter what. A few friends have become mothers. I became a bride and then a wife. And while our wedding day is hopefully only one of many amazing days, it will be hard to surpass the amazing feeling of walking toward the groom in my wedding gown, ready to pledge myself to him for the rest of our lives.
We’ll see what 2010 has to offer. This year has only proven to me that there is no telling at any given time what lies in wait, be it the most gut wrenching pain or ethereal bliss. All we can do, is accept what we’re given and deal with it as best as we see fit.
